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How Blogging Saved Me

breaking up to travel

Now, I know what you’re thinking. What a pretentious blog post title! I can’t argue with you there. But I really mean it, that blogging saved me that is. Seriously.

And I mean “saved” in a good way, not the whole Bible-carryin’-crucifix-wearin’-honk-if-you-love-Jesus kind of way. Because I hate those people with the fire of a thousand suns (sorry, I’m not sorry if that’s one of you).

Where do I even begin?

Do you ever feel like you are floating through life, unhappy with what you are doing but unsure of where you want to be?

I always felt like I was waiting for something to happen. Waiting for some perfect ray of sunlight to burst through the clouds and illuminate my face one day, and then I would just KNOW; oh yes, that’s what I am supposed to be doing with my life.

breaking up to travel

Well, that was me up until a year ago. I didn’t even realize how unhappy I was until I was happy. Does that even make sense?

It hit me about a month ago when I went to see Les Miserables. About halfway through Anne Hathaway’s performance of “I dreamed a dream,” I was sobbing, with big old tears running down my face, mascara everywhere, like some overgrown blonde panda. Sniffling and wiping all my make-up off my face 3 minutes later, I had a stunning realization.

I couldn’t remember the last time I cried. Like really cried. It had to have been at least a year. For me, this was huge. Growing up, I was a weeper, a stubborn, moody only child, prone to tantrums and tears. It didn’t get better when I got to college, in fact, it was way worse. Combined with a disgusting coarse load and an overachieving competitive mindset fostered at my fancy pants university, I was in for 4 years of hell.

And you know what made it worse? Boyfriends.

breaking up to travel

Some significant people (who shall remain nameless) used to tell me I was missing direction in my life. Ok, f*** you, I have direction. I want to make money and travel the world. If that’s not direction, I don’t know what is.

So I said goodbye to my American life, sold all my stuff, and moved back to Spain for two years. Except I still had a boyfriend in NYC. Mistake #1.

Take note people! I am going to dish (word vomit) all about my love life on here, something I never do. A. because people who overshare their relationships online are annoying and B. because I prefer to throw those skeletons in a closet and forget about them forever.

However, I can’t do that here because my ex-boyfriends have all been a huge part in helping me find myself through writing. So thanks, assholes.

breaking up to travel

I started my blog my senior year of college (2010) before traveling to Peru with an ex. You should start to notice a pattern here, that pattern being I’m an idiot when it comes to dating. By the time I boarded a flight at JFK to Europe, I was head over heels in another relationship. What was I thinking?

Needless to say, my first year back in Spain in Córdoba was miserable. Late-night skype sessions, text messages and emails, and too-short international visits didn’t cut it. Cue, a weepy, moody, over-emotional Young Adventuress. Again. Things started to go downhill after I spent Christmas in NYC; I didn’t even want to go back to Spain. I’m pretty sure I cried all the way through customs, and the first hour of my flight to Madrid until the red wine and 3 Tylenol PMs I took kicked in.

breaking up to travel

All this time I started blogging. I had a little Blogspot account that I would update a few times a month with 5,000 word posts with 50 photos about the history behind the places I was traveling to. Really fascinating, I’m shocked that I didn’t win any newbie blogger awards (read: sarcasm).

Eventually I started to write more and more, and I would chose topics that were not necessarily narrative accounts of the places I visited (which is what many new bloggers tend to do, myself included). I barely used the Twitter, I didn’t know what Instagram was, and the only blogs I read were about fashion and food.

By spring I faced a dilemma. Renew my visa and stay in Spain for another year or give up and come home. This was a really, really really gut-wrenching decision to make, and it took me many months of doubt and regret afterwards to realize it was the right one.

breaking up to travel

I had been really depressed for most of that year in Spain, and not only because of the guy back home. It seemed nothing was going right; I had problems with my coworkers and roommates, and overall, I was just sad. It was if Spain wasn’t living up to my expectations. I was so homesick, and I felt like I was missing out on having a normal life like other girls my age. I would spent my free time at work looking up apartments in New York and picking out my dream furniture at IKEA. I hated being poor, I hated that I couldn’t invest in anything for my apartment or life in Spain because who knew when I would be leaving, but most of all, I missed him.

We were drifting apart, and I blamed myself for it. I felt like I finally had the chance for love and happiness, something most girls dream about, but I was throwing it away on some stupid fantasy of travel and Spain, a fantasy that wasn’t even living up to expectations. He had made it perfectly clear that things would be very different if I was still living in the US, which made things that much more worse. Should I just give up on Spain and move home, with the hope that our relationship would improve? Or should I stay and give Spain a second chance?

breaking up to travel

breaking up to travel

During the spring I started blogging more and more. Writing became an outlet for me when I didn’t want to deal with those dark thoughts.I started to travel around locally, trying to see Spain in a new light. I distracted myself with new friends, hanging out with kids my age in the village where I worked. Eventually people started to respond to my writing. People were listening to what I had to say, and left warm, fuzzy comments (most of the time). With the spring sunshine and flowers, new hope and possibility grew within me.

Then I did something really naughty. I renewed the program and didn’t tell him. Things weren’t going well, and what if I gave up on Spain, moved home for him, and we still failed? I would regret that choice forever. But I wanted one last chance. By the time I came to NYC that summer, he knew I had renewed the visa, and I could tell we were done, though it dragged on for months before we finally cut off contact with each other.

That was the year I chose travel over a relationship. And it took me another year not to regret it.

breaking up to travel

How do you get over something like that? By that point in my life, I had had not one, but TWO boyfriends tell me they didn’t want a girlfriend traveling and living abroad for so long. Talk about a sucker-punch, right at what’s the most important thing to me. How do you move on from that? Breaking up to travel is one of the hardest decisions you might I ever have to make, but I knew if I had moved back to the US, I would have resented my decision and resented him. I’m not going to lie, it made me bitter and angry for a long time. To me, it seemed like I was following my dreams and being punished for it. Why couldn’t I have both? If I chose a life of travel, was I destined to be alone forever?

I chose not to believe that, even after all of this. In my heart I have to believe when I meet the right person, it won’t matter where I am living or what my travel plans are. Now folks, while this is something I have come to realize myself, it still makes me want to punch anyone in the throat who tells me, “oh hunnay, don’t worry. You’re young, you’ll meet someone.”

Am I allowed to have priorities and goals in life that AREN’T finding a boyfriend? 

breaking up to travel

I’m a real catch, gentlemen. Just line up at the door, no shoving.

Anyways, I think you all know how the story ends; I moved back to Spain, this time to Logroño in the north, and had without a doubt the most fantastic year of my life.

And what kept me sane those dark months? My blog. It became my passion. Putting all my thoughts and feelings, and most importantly, my travel and expat advice on my blog, and seeing its success was beyond satisfying. When I was sad, I would write, though sometimes I would drink first.

I was mostly single for that year, with a few dates and flings here and there but nothing serious. And that was the best medicine. A year of being alone with yourself is one surefire way to get to know yourself real well. I really recommend it to anyone. How can you ever get to know yourself if you are constantly with another person?

breaking up to travel

breaking up to travel

Ladies, joining in on Italian bachelor parties just doesn’t happen when you’re in a serious relationship

I didn’t realize how lost I was when I was in those relationships. I forgot who I was, what my goals and dreams were. The number one girl-code was broken: I let my happiness be defined by a boyfriend. A big no-no. But by scribbling on my blog a few times a week over the course of two years, I rediscovered myself, and reevaluated what was important to me. I found my passion: travel blogging. And no one was ever going to yank it away from me.

Cue Katy Perry. This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me!

breaking up to travel

I’m a young twenty-something girl. I have my whole life ahead of me to get married and do the baby thing. Even buy my dream bed from IKEA. I’m not some radical female spurning men and children for the sake of “independence.” I want all those things, but not yet.

Right now I am determined to have the most memorable years of my life, doing what I love: traveling and writing. And anyone who makes me feel bad for that is a douche and isn’t worth being in my life.

It only took Anne Hathaway making me cry publicly at the movies for it to finally all sink in.

Have you ever felt the same way? Has a relationship ever made you reevaluate your life? What’s your passion? What keeps a smile and your face and motivating you to get out of bed in the morning? Share!

breaking up to travel

breaking up to travel

**All quote images came from my Pinterest words page

142 Responses to How Blogging Saved Me

  1. Shannon June 18, 2013 at 11:58 am #

    When I broke up to travel, someone told me, your life should be like a cake. A significant other can be the icing on the cake, but they shouldn’t be the cake itself. Looks like your cake is doing pretty well, with or without the icing ;)

    And just for the record, I met my travel loving husband while pursuing my dream of living abroad…so, you never know!

    • Liz June 20, 2013 at 3:36 pm #

      One can only hope xx

  2. Anna @ Go Live Wild June 30, 2013 at 1:06 pm #

    I’m embarrassed to say that all of my major life decisions have been catapulted by a breakup. I would have never dreamed of leaving a steady boyfriend behind or moving away from a good relationship.

    But I’ve been told I’m the perfect ex-girlfriend, because the first thing I do is get the hell out of there. I’ve moved after every major breakup, and the last one pushed me to leave the country and buy a one-way ticket to Thailand with a week’s notice.

    Kudos to you for being independent and putting your dreams first, with or without a relationship. Serious strength there.

    • Liz September 9, 2013 at 6:25 am #

      Thank girlie :)

  3. okely July 1, 2013 at 1:42 am #

    Hi liz
    Lv ur blog.Thnx for shaing.
    God Bless You
    Keep smiling
    Ur new subscriber
    Okely (:

    “one of the simplest ways to stay happy is,,,letting go of the things that makes you sad- unknown…”
    stay positive

    • Liz September 9, 2013 at 6:26 am #

      Always smiling :)

  4. M July 1, 2013 at 3:58 pm #

    Love your posts! I’m moving to Bilbao this fall for a couple of years and I love reading your blogs about the Basque country and elsewhere. I’m 31 and have been in a serious relationship for almost two years. My boyfriend has been completely supportive of my decision to take the job in Bilbao and really encouraged me to take it as he knows it’s likely a once in a lifetime opportunity. I traveled as a single girl to several spots in Africa in my 20s during graduate school. We are planning on staying together while I’m in Spain and just taking each day as it comes. I know it will be extremely difficult at times, but I’m heading into this uncharted (by me anyway) territory with a hopeful heart. I’m past wanting flings anymore and am really looking forward to immersing myself in my work and new culture, and traveling around the region as well. I’m quite excited and nervous! Best of luck to you and I look forward to reading more of your blog!

    • Liz September 9, 2013 at 6:28 am #

      Good luck! It sounds like you have a really supportive bf, that’s awesome! Most of my friends in really “successful” relationships have had to go long distance and one point or another. If you can make it then, you can make it through anything, right?

  5. Kirsty July 3, 2013 at 8:06 am #

    This was a really lovely blogpost, and it really hit home with me. I started writing a blog about 2 years ago too, and I loved doing it – it gave me a bit of purpose and something to focus on. Over the 2 years though I’ve grown out of the subject matter somewhat and want something a bit meatier to sink my teeth into. I’m off to Australia for a year in September and I’ve decided that I want to give travel blogging a go, as I think that will suit me better. Your blog is a great inspiration, so thank you Liz!

    • Liz September 9, 2013 at 6:28 am #

      Thanks so much :)

  6. Amy Hayes July 27, 2013 at 8:48 pm #

    I can relate to your story. My travel started with a break up. My 6 year relationship ended and I moved to London to pursue my studies for a year. Once that time ended, I thought I wanted to move back and get back together with said ex, only he had different thoughts (i.e. a new girlfriend). As devastating as that was at the time, it left me free to do as I pleased, for me. So I moved to Paris, originally for 4 months, and stayed 3 years. That one “shift” opened so many doors for me, and I now look back and laugh that I would have even considered wanting it any other way. :)

    • BkChickTravels August 3, 2013 at 3:41 pm #

      Love this post! You’re so real throughout it and not afraid to write it, it’s so inspiring and always a great reminder that you have to put yourself and your happiness first. I may not be the happiest in my current job but recently began blogging and life has been better than ever. I’ve started to travel much more often since last summer and its only going to become more and more frequent until I have enough money to do it for life. I have to say that I luckily ended up with a man who loves traveling as much as me and him being supportive makes all the difference.

      • Liz September 9, 2013 at 6:31 am #

        Thanks guys :)

  7. GG August 15, 2013 at 1:06 pm #

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it…. Your blog, your adventures, your travels. I am 33, happily married and living in the States since ’98. I came here for college and had so much fun that decided to stay and get some more. I also made some funny mistakes while learning English (Spanish is my first language… I once said I don’t like to eat grass-(grasa) instead of grease, my friend said “of course you are not a cow!)
    I wish you the best in your journeys and that when you are ready to settle you find a fantastic person that loves, respects, and cherishes you every day.
    Best of luck!

    • Liz September 9, 2013 at 6:32 am #

      Thank you :)

  8. Jen August 17, 2013 at 12:22 pm #

    I went through the same things! As a young traveller this blog is like reading my own thoughts written down. Last year when I left for South Africa for the year there was a boyfriend in tow and for the first 7 months I was there all my money went to internet costs, I felt miserable not being with him, and all my energy was focused back home to where he was. It was awful. The unexpected breakup call was the best thing that could have possibly happened to me the whole year. I was devastated, obviously. But after the first month or so of crying I noticed I was growing closer to the people around me and starting to fall in love with South Africa.

    Also, more importantly, my dreams grew astronomically bigger. Instead of planning on staying back home with him my new plans include working in another national park (one of the best experiences ever) and moving abroad for a few years to Uruguay or Chile. And then MAYBE (slight possibility but not really) settling down. We’ll see. It’s a long, beautiful road ahead with far too many siren calls around the world to ignore.

    Thankfully, I never sacrificed travel for being with him because, like you, i knew I would regret it forever. I’ve left South Africa now with a few adopted families, memories of climbing mountains and doing everything under the sun in Cape Town, making incredible friendships, and, just maybe, having found the love of my life. The best part is knowing how much more I believe in my dreams now that I have had to stand up for them and fight while finding the right people to walk with me on the journey.

    From one young wanderer to another, keep following your dreams and the rest will fall in place. Which it sounds like you’re already doing, so keep on keepin’ on!

    • Liz September 9, 2013 at 6:33 am #

      Glad you can relate!

  9. Emily September 16, 2013 at 8:49 pm #

    Liz, I can so relate to this awful, torn in the gut experience! I really admire your attitude and passion and your ability to write about this big decision so candidly. Reminds me of Eat, Pray, Love.

    I’m 24 as well (25 on Saturday!) and travel and writing are my passions…my boyfriend and I (rather amazingly really) stuck together after 3 + years of traveling (separately) and this fall, got married (in Fargo, North Dakota, no less!). In making this decision, I knew my travel opportunities would be more limited, but I do passionately believe that when you know, you know.

    My then boyfriend/now husband never guilt-tripped me about pursuing my dreams and so when we did decide to settle down, I knew it was the right choice.

    I think that when it’s the right person, you’ll know. Until then, travel ON!

  10. Rachel September 24, 2013 at 5:38 pm #

    Thank you for this particular page in your blog. I am going through the exact same situation- I was dating a guy for nearly three years and decided to live in Spain. He immediately broke it off saying he couldn’t handle it. With the overwhelming feeling of being in a new country, trying to understand what is going on, not being able to afford anything but bread, etc., it really is awful to have someone you thought was there for you just leave you when something so incredible is going on in your life. It’s exactly as you say it will be. I’m sure this year/s will be amazing for me and I wish I had someone there to support me- that’s how I knew he was not the right one for me. And I agree about not being in a rush to have a family and the perfect house!

    Fantastic words. You have encouraged yet another expat in Spain! Thank you!

  11. Jacinta September 30, 2013 at 10:05 am #

    I wholeheartedly agree! There is someone out there who is perfect for you and you won’t have to sacrifice your own dreams and desires to make it work, it will just work!

    I was head over heels in love with someone from work for 3 years and kept waiting on my life to start with him. But also thanks to him, after much pain and sacrifice on my part, I had finally realised what is actually important to me and how I really wish to live my life. And that gave me the courage to quit a job and company which everybody else envies but I was no longer passionate about, and to go travel around the world.

    So now I have been travelling alone for nearly 4 months now and with no end date or plans of when this will stop. The joys of discovering about myself everyday and loving myself are my best healing. And I have more faith and trust both in myself and in life than ever before. And when the timing is right, that person will just show up in your life. And the precursor to that is? As long as we keep on living our best lives :)

  12. Shaz Lake November 5, 2013 at 5:09 pm #

    I had the opposite problem. It took going traveling WITH my boyfriend for me to realize how much I didn’t want to be with him. Breakups on the road are tough, but I think that traveling really teaches you that you don’t need to settle, there is so much more out there than unhappiness and conformity.

    My motto has always been that you need to be okay by yourself before you can be okay with someone else. And once you are OK with yourself, don’t let anybody change that.

  13. Danielle November 7, 2013 at 8:14 pm #

    Liz,
    I am really so glad I found your blog. I recently moved to Germany, and of course, as always I left some guy behind in the US, fortunately having some sense to break up with him before leaving. I haven’t been single for the past 3 years or so, it’s just constantly in and out of relationships, and then I come here and it’s like I can feel myself searching for one again! But when I read what you wrote, I know you’re right. Why do I have to give up my dreams in search of some guy? Hopefully this mentality sticks, but I finally feel like I can stop looking… and be happy.

  14. anthony February 6, 2014 at 11:11 am #

    well, i am here representing the other side of this equation … as someone who is heartbroken that their significant other is following their dreams to travel.

    i met the love of my life almost 2 years ago, she was 22 and i was 29. over the first year we became friends and our lives began to get more and more intertwined until last june we had our first kiss and began a committed relationship. at this time i knew she had plans to travel but i had the mindset that “we are here now” and i just wanted to be with her so bad. in august she went to germany for 2 weeks. (to the town she plans on moving) when she returned we had a very emotional talk about how she knew our relationship would need to end when she made her move in approximately one year. again, we discussed that we were in love and both “here now” … and in my heart i just thought our love was so strong that nothing could separate us.

    4 more months went by, we had great holidays together and we met each others families, went skiing, etc. i was on cloud nine and thinking that she might not be planning on moving any longer or maybe postponing it. then on new years day 2014 we met up and she just started crying saying shes so confused and feels our relationship getting stronger and stronger which will inevitably make the break up harder. she said we needed to end things that day. i was and still am absolutely devastated. we had returned from an amazing vacation 3 days earlier where we celebrated our 6 month anniversary and had a fabulous time just the 2 of us.

    reading your post has helped in a way, particularly the line that says “any guy who makes me feel guilty for wanting to travel is a douche” … i never want her to see me in that way, and i know i need to be strong. she is the love of my life and im trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. she is an amazing person who finished school and has the entire world open to her. i fully understand that she wants to spread her wings and travel without any ties or inhibitions, but my heart is so broken adjusting to life without her. right now its so hard because we are still in the same town, just cutting off contact until she leaves. i just have to do the best i can taking things one day at a time.

    • Zach August 8, 2014 at 2:49 pm #

      Woah, literally am in the exact same situation… like literally sentence for sentence. I am in the same city right now with SO who is getting ready to leave, and sadly part of getting ready to leave, is ending the relationship, like you said, to ease the transition. Hard being in the same city right now.

  15. Devan Knobloch March 25, 2014 at 5:02 am #

    Hey,

    I stumbled across your blog from Ashleyabroad. And in looking at ways to save money (because I am broke and in debt) so I can move to Paris and au pair I found the link to this blog post. I am so glad you wrote this!! Seriously it reminded me of why I actually got divorced from the perfect man. Because I knew I wouldn’t get to travel or explore and learn the way I always wanted to. I made such a hard choice to not let my marriage pigeon hole me and I parted ways. I am still figuring out how to live as me and not need a man. But I digress. I love your blog and its been wonderful!

    Thanks!!
    Devan

  16. Julianne Nolan March 26, 2014 at 2:00 am #

    YOU ARE MY SOUL TWIN!! This actually is 100%the story of my life. 2 boyfriends who I was wildly in love with, one in spain while i was in the states and one in the states while I was in Spain…. Im single now after a brutal break up and have just realized how WILDLY AMAZINGLY happy I am for the first time in years. Its almost scary how much I relate to you and how much I believe in being single and persuing your own happiness. Lesson learned through blood sweat and tears and I think we are all the better for it!!! You rock girl, such an inspiration for us all :)

  17. Richelle May 21, 2014 at 7:33 pm #

    I had a similar situation to your when I was in college. I fell for an Australian who was studying abroad at my school in America. After a semester he went back to Australia and we kept the relationship up long distance, and I even flew to Australia and lived with him and his family for a month. That next fall I had a choice: study abroad in Australia that spring and be with my boyfriend and probably have a great time, or study abroad in China. I’d been studying Chinese for the last year and a half, with the sole purpose of going to China, which was my dream. I even TOLD my boyfriend the day we first met that I wanted to study abroad in China. I thought I could study in Australia in the spring and do China over the summer and have the best of both worlds. All my friends and even my parents said it was a good idea. But my best friend knew better. She, for lack of better words, “bitched me out” and “set me straight”. She said, “If he really loved you he would threaten to dump you if you DIDN’T go to China”. My boyfriend couldn’t understand how I could “choose China over him” and we broke up.

    Now I can’t imagine how different my life would have been if I went to Australia. I’d probably be engaged, working some stupid job I didn’t like in Australia just to be with him. Going to China made me realize he was never the right person for me. Studying abroad in America was a big deal for him. I can’t imagine him backpacking around SE Asia with me, or keeping calm while being jostled on a Chinese subway. I laugh when I think back to a time I thought we might get married. Any guy that ends a relationship because you want to follow your dreams isn’t worth having.

    Now I’m single, living in China teaching English. I’m almost fluent in Chinese, I’m extremely independent and I haven’t had a boyfriend in almost two years. I know exactly who I am and exactly what I want, and someday I’ll find a guy who I can take with me on my adventures. I’ve always been afraid to write about this stuff on my own blog, but reading this post makes me feel like I can address it in a mature and thoughtful way without seeming too emotional or “oversharing”. Thanks!

  18. Patricia Lorraine June 10, 2014 at 11:57 am #

    Liz, the whole time I read your post I kept saying “Me, too!” and “Yes, that’s it!” I’ve never found another person who shared so many of the same feelings on writing, travel, and life. I’m so glad I found your blog, and will keep reading your every post. I want to follow my own story, like you did.

  19. Amber June 17, 2014 at 8:20 pm #

    Oh girl! This post is helping me with what feels like the most difficult decision of my life right now. I have a boyfriend of 5 years who is fully supportive of me returning to live abroad for another year. The thing is, do I leave him and find myself? I don’t remember what it’s like to be single. I am 21 and ready to see the world forma whole new perspective, to grow and develop myself without anyone else. I guess its just another one of those decisions.. Thank you for your article! It’s giving me food for thought!

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