5 Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

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Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

If moving abroad were easy, everyone would be doing it, right?

With only about 35% of the American populace holding passports, I think it’s safe to say that most of our knowledge of the big wide world comes from the idiot box and the internet, not from firsthand experience.

Personally, I cannot STAND it when people make incorrect assumptions about other countries. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves. I have made it my life mission to encourage and help as many people, especially young people and women, to travel the world and move abroad. Hence this massive, rather long-winded blog.

Whether it’s from movies, books or TV, I feel like the image of “the rest of the world” and “moving abroad” has become so idealized and misconstrued in American media today that it’s no longer relevant to the actual experience.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

Whenever I tell people I lived in Spain or I’m moving abroad (big announcement soon guys!) I generally get the half-assed “Oh that’s so nice! You’re so lucky; you’re going to have the time of your life, and maybe you’ll fall in love” response. Ok, have you met me? I’m a walking-talking disaster! No one in their right mind would call me lucky and the day I have a successful international relationship is the day pigs fly.

And secondly, the next person who tells me I’m going to fall in love abroad is going to get smacked, family members included. What makes people think that going abroad is equal to a young woman searching for love, and what makes you think it’s socially acceptable to say that to my face? Hey, what about me?! Can’t I just go abroad for myself? I’m only 24 damnit! All I want is to see the world, maybe make out with some cute boys, sleep under the stars, drink whiskey with cool people and have adventures and write about it later. Is that asking too much?

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

We get so caught up in the “American Dream” of finding the perfect 9 to 5 job, the perfect husband, the perfect house with a white picket fence, two cars and 2.5 kids that we forget that there is an entire WORLD out there to explore! For all you young’uns out there, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You only have one chance to be young, don’t throw it away.

I don’t know anyone who has regretted moving abroad but I know plenty who have regretted staying behind.

But I’ve waxed poetic enough about why I think everyone and their mother should move abroad right this instant. This post is about myths and breaking down the facts about living overseas for you guys, something I’m painfully good at.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

1. The movies got it all wrong

From watching the Olsen twins frolic around Paris on VHS to Diane Lane getting romanced after buying a villa in Tuscany, my generation was raised on glamorized half-truths and idealized travel experiences. No matter how many times I’ve been to Rome, I have never met my pop start doppelganger and been invited to sing on stage in the Coliseum like Lizzy McGuire. Damn you Disney!

Moving abroad is hard; it’s challenging, and you don’t always find what you are looking for. Modern media has romanticized traveling and living overseas, making it seem both effortless and easy, when in reality, it can be the biggest pain in the ass. The movies rarely talk about the hard times, and they make it look so effortless when the reality is far from rainbows and unicorns.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

From sorting out residency papers and visas (the bane of my existence in Spain) to negotiating rent and setting up a bank account, nothing is simple, easy or familiar while transitioning abroad. While these daily occurrences are glossed over on film, they are all part of the experience and make it all the sweeter. I always likened them to personal challenges. Liz – 1, Spanish post office worker – 0, winning.

So for all the people who think moving abroad is a piece of cake or a long-term vacation, you couldn’t be more wrong. It’s a daily battle that almost always leaves you questioning – is this what I really want? while crying on the Madrid metro and stuff your depressed face with Kinder Bueno bars.

But if it is, then all the challenges that go into moving abroad make the experience all the more rewarding and memorable. There is not a movie out there that can truly capture just how amazing it is to have that experience under your belt because, it’s one of those “you really have to be there” moments.

These are the best moments you can have while traveling, spending the day with new local friends and laughing, getting invited to a family dinner, becoming part of your new community. Moving abroad is so much more than a new country, a place to tick off of a bucket list. It’s about the experiences you have and the people you meet. Don’t forget that getting caught up in the glamor of it all.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

2. Get rid of all your crap

I’m totally serious – you’ll thank me later; burn it, sell it, or throw it in storage, but whatever you do, try to keep the stuff you bring with you to a minimum. It took me several years, and several international moves abroad to realize that less really is more.

With hundreds of books in my collection and a penchant for high heels, if I can travel light, by god anyone can. A huge part of moving abroad is about integrating. You can buy clothes and bath products in your new country, don’t waste all your luggage space on 10 pairs of jeans and hair products.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

Do you really need to pack everything you own? Do you need to bring a pillow with you? Can you not buy shampoo wherever you’re going?

One of my favorite things about Spain was the shopping! They have great stuff for so much cheaper than the US. I always had more problems going home, trying to bring home all the stuff I bought during sales and smuggle in cheap wine and Spanish ham, than when I moved over in the first place.

Whether you are moving abroad for six months or six years, the less shit you bring with you, the better. Trust me on this one.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

3. Learning another language is not easy

Before I moved to Spain, I thought I knew Spanish. What a joke!

Aside from the fact that America has just about the worst teaching foreign language methodology I’ve ever experienced, no two ways about it, you won’t become fluent until you move abroad.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

Even that isn’t enough. I’ve known plenty of Americans in Spain who get by speaking English and put in zero effort to learning Spanish. You have to try, really try; commit to it and make it a priority and it will happen. Live with locals, join a club, go out frequently, make a fool of yourself with locals. You will never learn to speak a language well from a book, you will only learn by practicing. Drink a beer first; it helps.

When I first moved to Spain in 2007, I was so shy. It took half a year for me to come out of my shell, and look at me now! I can’t shut up – in English or Spanish! The day I won an argument with my Spanish roommates in April 2011 about kitchen duties was a sweet, sweet day for me.

But don’t delude yourself. You have to make the effort if you want to learn another language when moving abroad. Don’t just think it’ll happen.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

4. It’s ok to hate your adopted country

Don’t shoot the messenger! God knows I will never hear the end of writing a negative post about Spain. I’ve been called many nasty things in my 3 years blogging, but one of the worst ones was somehow being “ungrateful” for Spain.

Really? Have you read my blog?

Let me fill you in on another little secret; you are allowed to get mad, pissed and even hate your new country now and then. It’s like a relationship really. Don’t bottle in your feelings, otherwise they will boil over and explode, and that just never ends well. Ever.

You are allowed to have a complex range of emotions when you straddle two different worlds. That’s a normal part of moving abroad – there are even studies on it! For me, the hardest part of living abroad was feeling like I belonged neither here nor there. I would get mad at Spain and I would get mad the US, and I felt like I was in limbo.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

Sometimes shit happens when you live abroad. Sometimes nothing happens for a long time and you are really happy, and then suddenly it all sneaks up on you at once and attacks you. From fighting with the immigration officers, to my coworkers, to even doctor’s office, Spain always tested my patience. Hell, I am STILL fighting with them now! In December, my best friend mailed me home all my favorite books from Spain, and well, they lost them and have no idea where they are. And not only did they lose them, they are making my friend go through a rat race in Spain trying to even talk with the right person who can help! And I can’t do anything since I’m in the US and the Spanish post office phone number is a paid line unrecognized by Skype. Really Spain?

Deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. I love Spain, I really do. At the end of the day, I would go through hell and back to live there. And that’s how I know I can complain about it here and there; it’s like venting to a friend. It’s when your hate for a country bubbles up so much that you become negative and bitter is when you should start thinking about moving home. I didn’t even think about moving home til I was warned by a lawyer that I could be forcibly deported and banned from Europe if I didn’t leave.

Now that’s love.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

5. Travel changes you

People always talk about “finding yourself” or “going on a journey to self-discovery” as a reason for traveling, and as much as I think it’s way overplayed nowadays, I can understand where people are coming from. After all, Eat, Pray, Love was popular for a reason.

People  usually say that traveling or living abroad was the best time of their life and you should go too, Listen.

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

Travel does change you, for better or worse. Moving abroad was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and it has helped shaped and continues to shape who I am today. It has taught me many lessons and has encouraged me to be independent, responsible, have respect, and above all, APPRECIATE the people and the world around me. Struggling to learn another language, to adapt to a different culture with a different set of rules and learning the difference between fiction and reality – those are the lessons that stay with you, that shape you, that change you.

Have you ever lived abroad? For you, what is something no one ever told you about moving abroad?

Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

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516 Comments on “5 Things No One Tells You about Moving Abroad

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  1. Will you just move to inside my head and keep giving me pep talks and inspiration to move abroad? That would be a foreign place! I am about to graduate and take a year or two off before graduate school, but not a single person is supportive of me going abroad. Your post is helping! Thanks! I will continue to read…

    1. This made me bust out laughing. I have studied and traveled aboard extensively but started to settle down in my old age (I’m 36). I still love to travel though and this blog really speaks to me. Thanks for the inspiration, Liz!!

    2. haha great comment! Yes, I will move inside your help, whenever you need a pep talk, message me! Don’t listen to the haters, I get so much negativity about my life decisions, it’s hard but you just have to keep going forward knowing you’re following your dreams and doing what’s right for you 🙂

      1. My fiance and I are both 27 years old and are at a place in our lives where we feel “stuck.” We have great jobs, but not what we want to stick with. So we are at a time where we just would like to say f*** it and let’s move. Anywhere! Europe, Carribean, whatever! BUT I know that it can not be that easy. We just want to look back on our lives and know that we did it! All the stories we can tell. I even mentioned moving somewhere for 6 months-1 year, get married, and have a big “welcome home/ reception” party. But where we are stuck at is the living and job situation (even if it’s a restaurant, we’ll take it). There are many things we need to look into, and your story just makes me want to so much more. We don’t want to give up on this dream. To just travel!….I guess my question is, how did you get by with the housing and expenses? Any suggestions?

      2. It’s easier to find work abroad to pay for travel, that’s what I would do. Try to find a country you’d like to live in and see what visas and work opportunities there are.

  2. I love the line about falling in love. I can’t keep track of how many times I’ve heard that already and I just applied 2 months ago! “Oooh maybe you’ll meet a hot Spanish guy and fall in love!” Ummmmm maybe I will maybe I won’t…. And that’s not why I’m going! I don’t think I will morph magically into a super dating queen just by going abroad. I agree… Not a socially acceptable thing to say.

    1. OHMYGOODNESS. This ranked right up with people not knowing the difference between me living in Northern Ireland vs. the Republic of Ireland (9 months later, they still don’t get it… and are still holding their breath that I’ll find my true love).

      1. Worse: when moving to Switzerland people kept thinking we were saying Sweden. At least Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland are close. Living abroad is definitely a life altering experience that I will be able to look back on fondly forever.

      2. In Spain, I’d literally mix up Sweden and Switzerland when I heard them because they sounded so similar to me in Spanish at first (Suecia vs Suiza).

      3. People use to do that for me to!
        But, I’m from Sweden… And some people think I’m from Switzerland and that really annoys me… They’re not similar at all! :O They’re just starting with the same letter, I don’t really get it why everyone messes them up all the time xD

  3. Oh my god, the Spanish post office. I sent two packages home full of clothes before I left Spain since there was no way I was able to fit everything into my two suitcases (I accumulated so much in just 2 years! Not to mention I threw out so many things right before I left). It took about five-six weeks for both packages to arrive to my house. I almost thought I would never see those clothes again! There were only clothes in them- no food, jewelry, money, or anything really of value.. The first box had obviously been opened to some extent–who knows what happens in that mysterious shadow world known as Customs. Nothing was missing but the box was destroyed and unrecognizable. It didn’t even look like a box, it had been crushed, squashed, thrown around, and beaten up and obviously somehow gotten wet (too bad I didn’t take a picture). Most of my clothes in the first box were wet and reeked–they got tossed in the washer machine right away! The second box didn’t look like it had survived a war and didn’t take as long, but again pretty sure that box had been opened too. As I’m sure you know, impossible to track the packages from the Correos website since tracking is restricted to packages within Spain (and possibly Europe? I can’t remember). I distinctly remember the website saying tracking packages to the US was impossible because of strict customs laws, so it’s up to how long Customs feels like holding your package hostage.

    I did the same thing when I studied abroad in France and those two packages arrived about a week after I sent them. They were so fast, I was so surprised!

    1. woah that sucks! At least you got them! I have had so many problems with correos, either coming to or going from Spain. It’s absolutely ridiculous and they have no accountability!

  4. Love the post! I’l be moving abroad to teach in Spain in about 6 months, I’m well aware that everything won’t be a fairy tale. There will be challenges, but also rewards. It’s something that if I don’t do it, I will always regret it. Also, I’m dying to know more about your teaser of big news too come!!

    1. As soon as I had the freedom to travel, I was away. I had always been so fascinated by the countries and culture, and I had never got the opportunity to go abroad as a child because my mother had a fear of flying.
      When I was 17, I travelled to Spain with 4 friends for a holiday for 3 weeks and i have to tell you, i had the most amazing time of my life, just letting all your stresses go, getting drunk. A few years later after travelling abroad to different places, one night i stayed up and considered moving abroad, i wrote down pros and cons, and the next morning I told my mum and my dad I wanted to move abroad. It took me around 3 months to get everything sorted, i had to apply for a visa and all the immigration stuff. Ever since I was 22, I have lived in Rome. Still at 32, im still loving it and I am married with a son whos 2. Staying up that one night that changed my life.

    2. my boyfriend and I want to move to England together, but there is so much to do and its very overwhelming.

      is there any advice you have for getting things in order, ie; housing (rent or buy, jobs, bank accounts, choosing where to live etc

      1. Hi Kyrah! I’m English! Living in Wales! I’ve spent a lot of time travelling around the country with work. Feel free to email me/ fb me ([email protected]) if I can help you with anything! spareroom.com is great for finding accommodation, it’s just lodging, really straight forward with no contracts or anything generally, pretty easy. Good luck! x

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