So I realized the other day that I have been making assumptions about what people know about Spain and Spanish culture. There is a huge difference in almost everything between America and Spain. In fact, I like to think they are at opposite ends of the spectrum, in terms of culture, politics, religion, food, motivation, time and above all, in ways of thinking. Spain is a thoroughly easygoing, friendly, relaxed Mediterranean country. The words “stress” and “worry” don’t really seem to exist in the average Spaniards vocabulary. Who cares if there is crippling unemployment and widespread economic collapse when you are alive and in a beautiful place with wonderful people? If you understand this, then you can understand why things are the way they are here. It is an attitude like this that makes me both love Spain so much and be super frustrated with it at the same time. I am planning to include more short posts on cultural differences and mishaps, something I am very good at!
So let’s start with the basics! Introductions! In the States when you meet someone for the first time, you shake hands formally with about two feet of space between you. If you try to do that here, more often than not the person you are meeting will laugh at you and stare at your hand. Spaniards (and Europens in general) are more friendly and relaxed, and touchy, so when you meet someone here, you give two kisses on the cheek, first the left then the right (trust me this could lead to some awkward mishaps, so remember-left to right), and you say your name and nice to meet you as you kiss too. Complicated, I know. Also, be aware that people here don’t understand the concept of personal space and will talk to you with their faces right in front of yours.
Just your average cheek kiss greeting in Europe (source)
You usually kiss your friends when you meet up with them or when you say goodbye. Sometimes if you are really excited to see someone you give 3 or 4 kisses. (In Switzerland its 3 kisses, left-right-left, in France its 2, right-left) Now this goes for greetings between girls, and girls and boys, but between guys its more of a handshakes unless they are really close or family. A lot of times now its more of a cheek to cheek and even less of a kiss. This also explains that when you text someone a lot of times it ends with the word “kisses” or “besos.”
Kissing has a totally different connotation here. For example when I got coffee with a university professor for the first time this week I got two kisses when I met him and two kisses when we said goodbye. Also in the school where I work my students give me cheek kisses all the time. It’s really adorable except when they have snot all over their faces. The teachers kiss the kids on the cheek too and its no big deal. I think you would be fired for that back home. I love that its so comfortable and relaxed, informal and warm here. Everyone is so friendly and outgoing, it really makes me feel quite at home and not bothered by dumb social stigmas of whether or not to show affection. But the REAL question is what do you do when you meet other Americans in Spain? Handshake, hug, slight wave, kisses? An incredibly tricky and usually very awkward moment occurs!!
Check out this classic son by about kissing (bésame) Suavamente here!
About the author
Kisses between men and women. Yes.
Kisses between women. Yes.
Kisses between men. Be carefull!! We use only with uncle or father apart from this only if its between gays.
The hug.
Between men or women. Yes. Its a synonime of good friends or a celebration.
Between men are women except in special celebration and in the family is good. However, if is not the case. The men will think that the woman want something more, sexual or love.
Its true. The kisses in both cheeks are more innocent than hug between men and women.
Be carefull. I had an experíence of one american woman Hugging me unexpectly and I felt totally blocked and startled.
Yeah, the aticle is fun and most of it is right.I am glad you are having fun and learning in m y country. But the prejudices about us being lazy are just too hackneyed… and one more thing.. I have never ever kissed -8or been kissed by) a teacher nor in high school or university. And I am from the very south of Spain. No more affectionate than us in the whole world 🙂 Maybe you met some overffectionate and relaxed person in your faculty 🙂
Ah! and I totally support you: we kiss “left to right”
Do you seriously think that Spanish People don’t know the word stress? DO you think that we are not worried about unemployment? Maybe you were in another country!!
We do worry about EVERYTHING! We have to leave our country because we don’t find a job there!
DO you know what it is the worst nightmare for us? LEAVING OUR AWESOME COUNTRY WITH OUR AWESOME PEOPLE, CLIMATE, CUSTOMS, FOODS AND KISSES! (First the right and then the left by the way…..)
Calm down crazy. Maybe when you’re overseas you can practice your English more (and maybe read the HUNDREDS of other articles I have about Spain on here) before writing your bitchy, superficial judgements. First word to look up in the dictionary – SARCASM.
And everywhere I lived in Spain it was left, right and the one time I forgot, I kissed a girl on the mouth.
So true,my best friend is Spanish,and is constantly worried about people,even though he is lucky enough to be in a good job.Everyone needs to learn English to move to find work,it is that bad 🙁
Calm down “SPANISH PERSON”, there is no reason to be offended here.
Of course we worry about unemployment and financial crisis, but that does not stop us from going out and socialize as we normally do. We love to get out of home and meet with friends and family, we are open and easy going people (most of us). Of course, once in a wile you find people “SPANISH PERSON” here on top, but he does not represent the average, he is only a minority.
By the way SPANISH PERSON, I am going to teach you another thing in Spanish culture, writing in big letter means screaming, and we do not scream to other people without reason.
Were from Spain are you? In Alicante, where I come from, we also kiss left first and right after.
I loved this article. Muy bueño! Thanks for explaining this topic. My penpal talks about greetings all the time and this really helped me understand.