The Long Farewell: Hasta Luego, Spain!

leaving spain

As some of you might already know from my various hints on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, or maybe we’ve talked through normal means of communication, I’ve left Spain. Indefinitely. For a while. Maybe.

Jesus, that was hard to write.

I’ve been back home in DC for almost a month now, and it’s taken me nearly double that time to get all my conflicting thoughts written down in some semblance of a post. Leaving Spain is without a doubt one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

In short, Spain and I broke up. Actually Spain dumped me, let me hang on like a sad little puppy for 4 months as “friends” then tried to get back together with me after I moved on. Clearly they haven’t heard T-Swift’s latest travesty of a song. But I digress.

leaving spain

I was an auxiliar English teaching assistant for the past two years with the Spanish Ministry of Education. Last year in Logroño and the year before in Córdoba. I tried to renew for a third year, but I was on the wait list all summer. My visa expired in May, but I had three extra months to sort it out.

All summer the Ministry led me on, promising me a spot in June, July, then August, but nothing. By August I had to make a decision, and once I found out I had been accepted at the Blog House, I was resolved to risk international incarceration and stay in Spain through September before coming home to the US after TBEX. By September I couldn’t risk staying longer without a visa, and the Ministry and Foreigner’s Office made it clear that was not going to happen. Leaving Spain was my only option.

Plan B: I would come home for a few months, reapply for Spain next year and in the meantime work and blog, saving money and trying to build up my site so I can start working full-time as a travel blogger, hopefully within the next six months. It’s all very hush hush, but mysterious plans are in the works for me moving to a new and wildly different country for the rest of the year, but I can’t give away all my secrets just yet. Let’s just say that in spite of being at home in the US, my goals, dreams and aspirations have only grown bigger over the past month.

So I flew home, visited friends, traveled to the west coast for the first time, drove my car for the first time in a year, redeveloped an irrational addiction to vanilla lattes, and began looking for a job.

And you know what popped up in my inbox a week ago? The Spanish Ministry offering me a job in Madrid! Can you believe it? Talk about messing around with me since MAY! I couldn’t believe it. I STILL can’t believe it. Don’t worry, I have a loooong post coming up next week about this. This post is instead about goodbyes and farewells. Sobre las despedidas duras. 

leaving spain

So Spain, my first and only true love, here is my goodbye for now. First in English, then in Spanish // aquí está mi despedida, primero en inglés, y después en castellano.

Spain, you’ve tested my devotion and tried my patience over the past 6 months, but I forgive you. I just need a little break. Spain and I are meant to be, no question there. But I need some space to discover myself and grow up to be the world traveler I dream of being. I want to be the next Hemingway. I dream about writing for National Geographic. I would do anything to completely rewrite every section in Lonely Planet about northern Spain.

I want to ride elephants in Thailand. I secretly wish to climb to Everest base camp. I need to prove that I can live in another country besides Spain. I have a hankering to cycle Bolivia’s Death Road. I long to learn French in a little village in Provence. I have an insane desire to bungee jump off Victoria Falls. I yearn to chase the Aurora Borealis in Iceland and I hope to climb Mount Vinson in Antarctica one day. And so much more. Then, I’ll come back to Spain; I want Spain to be my home. Until then, I am on a journey to self-discovery around the world.

leaving spain

I love you, Spain, and I know you will always be there; leaving you broke my heart. You are the soybean butter to my jelly (I have a peanut allergy), and you are the CSS to my HTML. Spain, you are the sangría to my paella (sorry, I just went there!), the Xabi Alonso to my Casillas, and the red to my yellow.

If you all didn’t think I was bats*** before, you do now.

After over 3 years on and off, Spain will always be a home for me, and I know one day soon I will be back. I am trying to look at this break-up as an opportunity, a chance for me to try something different. To challenge myself, to go somewhere new. In the meantime I am taking the this time to expand my travels on my quest to becoming a professional travel blogger. I have some incredible new adventures lined up for the year that I will be sharing with you all shortly. And don’t worry, guys, I still have TONS of stuff to say about Spain.

Until then, I won’t say goodbye, instead, until next time. (Cheesy, I know, but I am a cheesy girl).

Have you ever had to leave a place you loved unexpectedly? How did you cope?

 //

¡Ahora en español! 

Mi querida España, qué dificil escribir estas palabras de despedida. Llevo más que un mes con la intención de terminar este post, y no podía hasta ahora. Tengo papeles, papeles y más papeles con unas palabras mezcladas con frases no terminadas. Sobre todo, no podía aceptar que me tenía que marchar de España, de La Rioja, de Logroño.

Al final, fue sencillo, No podía renovar los papeles, digo, el visado. No, esperad, mejor dicho decir que no me dejaban renovar el visado. Después de esperar 4 meses que el gobierno me dé una beca, que me prometieron una plaza antes de agosto, y al final nada, y con más que 5 ofertas de trabajo enseñando inglés, todavía no me dejaban renovarlo, simplemente por ser americana y no europea. Y dos semanas después de volver a los eeuu, después de vender todas mis cosas, alquilar el piso, y despedirme de todos mis amigos y alumnos en España, recibí un email del ministerio de educación con una oferta de trabajo en Madrid que comienza imediatamente. ¡Qué fuerte!

leaving spain

¿Qué hago? 

Acabo de empezar un buen trabajo aquí donde hablo mucho español, pasar tiempo con amigos y con mi familia, los que no he visto hace más que un año. No es lo mismo, pero siempre intento mirar estas cosas de una perspectiva positiva.

Y sobre todo, que en los últimos días en España era cuando empecé a realizar mi sueño escondido de hacerme escritora profesional de viajes (¿lo he traducido bien?)  de ser travel blogger; ya he empezado planificar unos viajes por el mundo después de las navidades, igual me traslado a otro país nuevo. Ahora todo es secreto pero pronto revelaré todo aquí en mi blog, shhhhh!

Los últimos dos años han sido inolvidables. Ha sido una experiencia única, más que especial. Me enamoré totalmente de España, de la gente y la cultura, el paisaje y la diversidad, y (lo más importante) la comida, los pinchos, y el vino tinto buenísimo riojano! ¿Sabéis lo que vale una botella de reserva en ámerica? ¡Más que triple! Ya me muero de falta de buen vinto tinto aquí! ¡Alguien me debe mandar una botella de Marqués de Riscal 2006 por favor!

leaving spain

Pero si volveré a España ahora, ¿está seguro que puedo repetir estas experiencias tan perfectas? ¿O sería mejor seguir con mis planes, seguir desarrollando este blog y el contenido, y seguir con mi vida aquí? España siempre estará allí, igual con una comunidad menos, pero de todas formas allí.

¿Debería mirar esta vuelta no anticipada a casa como oportunidad para probar algo nuevo? Yo sé que para mí España es mi país, y viviré allí otra vez pronto, pero ahora, soy ciudadana del mundo, y quiero explorar y ver todo lo que puedo. He dejado parte de mi alma, de mi mismo en un piso pequeño en Logroño, pero en este momento estoy contenta con todo lo que he aprendido, con mis amigos majos, y con la garantía de vuelta a España un día. 

Así que no digo adiós ni me despido de nadie. En vez de decir esto, solo digo hasta la próxima.

Besos, Liz xx

(¿Qué tal mi español? ¿Escribo fatal?)

¿Qué pensáis? ¿Si estuvieseis en mi lugar, qué haríais? Algunga vez habéis tenido que despediros de un lugar que habéis amado? 

¡No olvidéis seguirme en Facebook!

leaving spain

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52 Comments on “The Long Farewell: Hasta Luego, Spain!

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  1. First of all, good luck! You spent 2 incredible years in Spain and you loved it- you are just one lucky girl as the memories will always stay with you. And now there are new adventures waiting for you, and for us, your followers, to read about them and envy you! Some things have to come to an end, so you can move on and try living your other dreams! Muchos besos y cuidade, vayas donde vayas 🙂 Aga

  2. I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES!!!!!!!

    You have encapsulated how I’ve felt about Spain for FIVE years!! I have those F-YOU-AND-YOUR-STUPIDITY days at least once a week, where living as a foreigner get to me, when I can’t take it anymore, where I get Instagram jealousy of my friends back hoem. I constantly feel like I’m straddling two completely different worlds, and I can fully admit that I know what’s keeping me in Spain – my boyfriend. Still, I’ve learned to make it my home, learn to keep my head held high when the bureacracy is making me crazy, to bite my tongue at the abueltias in the Supermarkets.

    I think you’re making a great decision, both for you and your blog, so here’s to you! Ánimo! I’ll probably still be in Spain when you get back. Teaching. Gah.

    1. awww, love you Cat!

      I definitely feel you on the straddling two worlds. I still feel like that now that I’m home. I miss Spain soooo much. wahhhh

      send me some tortilla de patata con picante and turrón to cheer me up!

  3. So I already thought this was an awesome post, then you went and wrote it in Spanish. Sheesh, props to you! I’m excited to read about your travels, and whatever you end up doing next. Though I am not as in love with Korea as you are with Spain, I can relate to your posts and feelings about wondering where to go. My time teaching/traveling in Asia will come to a close next year and I am really pulled towards Europe, especially Spain or Portugal. I’m really considering figuring out how hard it would be to teach there. Good luck with everything! I’ll be reading along 🙂

    1. Thanks! I am so glad someone can also relate to these crazy feelings and what-ifs. It’s hard to make big changes even when you know it’s the right thing to do. You should try to come to Europe! The application to teach english in Spain goes live soon 🙂

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