When I first moved to New Zealand, I thought it was going to be so much easier than moving to Spain.
As far as I was concerned, NOWHERE ON THE ENTIRE PLANET could have more red tape or be more difficult than Spain. And for the most part, I was right. New Zealand is not exactly a challenging destination, by any means.
First off, they speak English in New Zealand. Hey, I speak English too! How hard could it be?
Sigh. Really, I should know better by now, right?
It all started the first day I did laundry in my new house in Wellington. Or should I say my new “flat” since I am now in the Queen’s territory.
Pulling my clothes out of the washer, I asked my new “flatties,” “flatmates” aka roommates where I could hang them up to dry.
“Downstairs outside there’s a clothesline in the back of the house,” they told me, “and they’re pigs on the ground.”
Blinking, surely I heard them wrong. “Pigs? What do you mean ‘pigs’? Why are there pigs outside?” I asked.
Looking at me like I was insane, “PIGS! You know PIGS that you hang your clothes with. PIGS!” They all said in unison pinching their fingers together in motion.
“Oh my god, you mean PEGS.”
This was just the beginning of what would become a slippery slope downhill of me trying and failing to understand the New Zealand accent, slang and/or vernacular.
In general, I’d like to think I’m pretty apt at understanding other accents and languages. I’ve studied many languages and worked teaching and tutoring English. But sometimes, like with the case of the mysterious pigs in Kelburn Wellington, all understanding completely eludes me.
However, after much pushing and prodding, I finally say down and watched the epic New Zealand classic movie Boy, the other night, when I realized I only understood 2/3rds of what they were saying.
The only complicated thing about the New Zealand accent is the vowels, which I guess is a pretty big complication. They like to swallow the ends of words here, similar to southern Spain, and then of course there is the Great New Zealand Vowel Shift and somehow “e”s have become “i”s.
Ben is pronounced “bin,” “head” becomes “hid,” while “really” and “rarely” sound exactly the same. Talk about confusing.
When I first stepped off the proverbial boat in Auckland, it didn’t take long for me to start to pick up on different structuring and common phrases used throughout New Zealand. Many of them I was aware of as a native English speaker, and while they may not be common or the go-to phrase in America, I understood perfectly what was meant.
For example Kiwis love to say the word “heaps.”
“I’ve got heaps of work to do before I can go home.” “There are heaps of sheep in New Zealand.” “I missed you heaps.” You get the idea.
A little more advanced is “keen.”
“Are you keen to go to the cinema?” I’d hear from friends. “Sure, I feel like going to the movies,” I’d reply, stubborn in my effort to maintain my Americaness (someone has to).
But one of my favorite Kiwi-isms, as I like to call them, is New Zealand’s fondness for the word “ay .”
What, are we in Canada?
Here, they like to just stick it on the end of a sentence here or there, giving it a little life or flavor. Almost like a little question but not quite, opening the dialogue up for a confirmation or reply.
“That’s a really nice hat, ay.” “Wow, that southerly is blowing in strong, ay.”
The other day I caught myself saying “ay” at the end of the sentence. Crap, I’m going native.
Anywho, after months of making mental notes and attempting to compile a list of new kiwi vocabulary in my “hid” — read: head, here are my 20 favorite and most heard New Zealand words and phrases. Enjoy.
1. Sweet as
Quite possibly the most famous of kiwi expressions, “sweet as” means good, ok, cool. Whatever. An expression of affirmation, more or less, usually followed up with “bro.”
Sometimes living in New Zealand I feel like I’m transported to a California surfer town in the 90’s.
Though I absolutely refuse to say “sweet as” because it is grammatically incorrect and makes me want to punch a baby. Sweet as… what? Finish the damn sentence! Sweet as pie? Sweet as candy?
Oh and it doesn’t end there. You can pretty much get away with sticking an “as” at the end of any adjective here in New Zealand. Mean as. Cheap as. Or my personal favorite, beached as – see video below.
2. Kia ora
Kia ora is a Maori greeting that’s common in New Zealand nowadays. Literally meaning “be well,” it’s pretty much synonymous with hello. Though, I still feel like I can’t get away with saying it, no matter how hard I try.
3. Wop-wops
Ha, I nearly died when I heard this one the first time. The wop-wops mean the middle of nowhere. The boonies. Out in the sticks. Try saying that with a straight face.
I feel like I should add that New Zealand gives a whole new meaning to the wop-wops; I am of course referring to the fact that there are no people in New Zealand, well there are 4.4 million people, which is roughly the size of Boston or an apartment building in Shanghai.
I used to think the small town I grew up in Virginia was in the boonies. But noooooo. I mean I came across towns in the South Island, population 5, towns that if you blinked while driving through, you’d miss them.
So maybe wop-wops is more acceptable here.
4. Dairy
Kiwi word for the convenience store, i.e. the 24 hour shop on the corner where you can get your milk, eggs, or if you’re me, your midnight craving for a chocolate bar.
5. Chilly bin
Care to hanker a guess?
The chilly bin is a cooler in New Zealand, perfect for your barbies (BBQ’s) on the beach packed with ice cold beer. Favorite.
6. Chocolate fish
A New Zealand staple, the chocolate fish is basically a pink or white marshmallow shaped fish covered in chocolate with ripple-like scales on them.
It’s a pretty common word used for rewarding a kid or someone for doing a good job. And I can vouch they are delicious. Oh, and since it’s New Zealand, we say “fush.”
There is also an amazing cafe in Wellington called the Chocolate Fish Cafe right on the beach in Scorching Bay, which was popular with the Lord of the Rings cast when they lived in Wellington, though now the name’s changed and it’s called Scorch-o-Rama.
7. Book a bach
Bach (pronounced batch) is the kiwi word for holiday home, and pretty much the only affordable way to travel in New Zealand given the absurd costs of hotels, hostels and even some campsites here. Split one with a group of friends and it becomes cheap, and it’s actually a great local way to experience New Zealand.
8. Jandals, togs, and stubbies
Luckily I knew what jandals were before I arrived in New Zealand because my friend Cole’s blog is called Four Jandals. Prepared. Boom. Oh, jandals are flip-flops BTW.
Togs was more complicated. It took me a while to realize that togs mean swimsuit.
And stubbies, which I think I could have lived without NOT knowing or seeing. Short shorts for men in the 70’s, you still see them around town and they are shocking to behold, at least for Americans. We grow up with an appropriate short level in mind for men, which is often put to the test overseas where dudes like to bare more leg than what we yanks are accustomed to seeing.
Even though I don’t see too many short shorts out and about on the street, that does not include going to the gym or the beach where they are still quite popular. Shudder.
9. Chur bro
Another popular kiwi expression, “chur,” which as I’ve taken to understand it means cheers or thanks. Again, commonly followed up with the obligatory “bro.”
First really started hearing this from my tour guide with Haka Tours in the South Island.
10. Yeah nah
Yeah nah yeah nah, which is it GODDAMNIT?!
However, points must be awarded to the Kiwis for inventing a phrase that means both yes and no at the same time. Good on ya, mate! (another common phrase here which I *think* means well done amigo but I could be wrong).
11. Tramping
In New Zealand tramping means hiking; it does NOT mean engaging in drunken, slutty illicit behavior as one (ME) might initially be led to believe. You’re welcome for the clarification.
12. Kumara, capsicum, and feijoa
All food words completely stumped me when I first arrived. Nevermind the fact that New Zealand uses many a British word for food like rocket (arugula), chips (fries) and aubergine (eggplant) PLUS having their own words for things. Mildly confusing, especially at restaurants when I had to ask what something was, and I got a look that says are you stupid, you speak English. Ugh.
Kumara means sweet potatoes or yams AND they have purple ones here OMG! I’ve only ever seen orange sweet potatoes before coming to New Zealand. Tangent.
Capsicum means bell peppers while feijoa is a New Zealand fruit that is about the size of a tomato and has a tangy flavor – and feijoa takes amazing in juices and smoothies here, give it a try!
13. Skux
As I am led to believe, skux is an ironic word for a player in New Zealand. As you might have guessed, I have not been able to pull this off in casual conversation so far in Wellington. However, there is still time and I am optimistic.
Challenge accepted.
14. A mare
A mare is short for a nightmare, like “I was on the piss and got into some trouble; I had a bloody mare last night.” You know, because I can pull off saying something like that.
So basically having a bad time or if you end up in a crazy situation.
15. L&P
A New Zealand classic, L&P is a sweet soft drink meaning Lemon & Paeroa, Paeroa being the place where it was manufactured. It only took a day to grow on me, but it tastes like watered down fizzy lemonade, in a good way.
Just trust me on this.
16. Op shops
Thank you Macklemore for clearing this one up, i.e. the New Zealand word for “thriftshop,” extremely popular in Wellington with its thriving hipster culture and love for vintage and record shops .
17. Waikikamukau
Doesn’t really mean anything just means some random-ass town in New Zealand that’s pronounced “Why kick a moo cow” which makes me laugh ALL THE TIME.
Sorry, had to share.
18. Pack a sad
Pack a sad means throw a tantrum or become moody in New Zealand. Who knew I’d be so good at this one?
19. Pavlova
I had pavlova forced on me not long after moving to Wellington, and while I tried to like it, it is far too sweet to take more than a few bites. Basically it’s a meringue cake thing with cream and fruit on it.
However, what is vastly more entertaining is that Kiwis and Aussies fight to the death over the invention and ownership of pavlova. Just bring it up next time you’re around one or the other and see what happens.
20. Spin a yarn
“You’re spinning yarns mate” means you’re lying or exaggerating, or telling a long story.
I will take this opportunity to exert some self control and NOT make a sheep joke.
21. Bum bag
Bum bag means fanny pack.
22. Tu Meke
Tu meke is a Maori word that means “too much.” Nowadays it’s popular among youths as a response to something impressive or awesome.
23. Dave
Again, as I am given to understand Dave is used as one word reply usually to someone being a dick.
24. Gumboots
Gumboots are rubber rain boots or wellies. First time I saw this was out in the country at a convenience store where there was a sign that said “please leave your muddy gumboots outside.” Good thing there was an illustration.
25. She’ll be right
Things will be fine. Right as rain.
Ok spill. What are some strange words you’ve encountered abroad? Have you been to another country where your native language is spoken – what words did they use differently? Any kiwi lingo I missed? Oh, are you from New Zealand – and if so, who invented pavlova?
**FYI the title Me Talk Kiwi One Day is a play on David Sedaris’ famous book Me Talk Pretty One Day
About the author
Yes, we say ‘heaps’ a lot but Americas say ‘bunches’. Bunches of work to do? And an American manager kept wanting to ‘blow me off’ (cancel) when I’d scheduled meetings with him!! Surely the US of A has done more to ‘modify’ the English language than little New Zilnd? Pavloa disgusting? Is America the home of wholesome, nourishing food?
Come on, Andy, the blogger simply said she found pav too sweet for her tastes and could only take a couple of bites. No need to come over all sarky and upset and be snide about US food.
I’m surprised, also, that you were offended by her description of the things we say that sound funny to her. They are gentle, humorous observations, not bitchy criticism, and she actually seems very fond of the place.
We need to be grown up enough to laugh at ourselves a little and not get our backs up over innocent remarks. Her comments crack me up. I can see why a lot of the things we say and do seem funny through her eyes and ears. I’m glad she’s taking her time to visit here and tell web surfers about her experiences.
The feijoa is native to South America. Like the ‘kiwi’ fruit which is from China new zealanders like to claim it as their own.
I can also assure you that the ghastly pavlova is indeed full of sugar and that there is no solid evidence as to it’s origin but it’s only the kiwis who maintain ownership with such verve similar to an infinite list of other grievances relating to petty matters.
Wow get over your self BRO try pulling the HUGE stick out of your ASS before you blog no one wants to with pissy little boys like yourself.
Hey billy blogs, it’s always nice to get an Aussie perspective. But I’ve lived in NZ 30 years and never heard any Kiwis claim the feijoa or kiwifruit as their own.
As I understand it, the name change to kiwifruit was simply a marketing ploy because the chinese gooseberry had been around since the beginning of time and neither the name nor the fruit was exciting people too much.
I’ve heard Kiwis and Aussies argue about the pav’s origins but only ever in a bantering way. Certainly the tone has never been as bitter as the two paragraphs you posted.
It seems very clear you don’t like NZers. Is that a result of your issues with two fruits and the pav, or does it go deeper than that?
Actually, there’s plenty of evidence as to the pavlova’s origin. You just have to research old cookbooks and women’s magazines from both Australia and New Zealand. Pending the discovery of new (earlier) evidence, it appears that the first use of ‘Pavlova’ to describe a dessert was in Australia, ‘pavlova cakes’ named in honour of the great Russian ballerina Anna Pavlova. However, the actual recipe describes something quite different from what is now known as a pavlova. The first use of the name pavlova and a recipe for a meringue cake with a marshmallow-like interior and cream topping is from a New Zealand cookbook. Confusion about the issue is generally due to the fact that a variety of desserts were named after the very popular dancer, and of course the fact that all Australians are filthy liars.
In a reciprocal sort of way, New Zealanders are often confused by the fact that, in America, kiwifruit is just referred to as ‘kiwi.’ To us a kiwi is an endangered bird or a person, certainly not something you eat in fruit salad or arrange in pretty slices on top of pavlova.
Hey Liz–
Congrats on getting published on Stuff.co.nz! Just got through reading some of the comments (which are ALMOST as entertaining as your post….almost) and felt like i needed to come here and agonize with you over how fucking annoying internet trolls are. I don’t know how you put up with it. (Actually, how do you? I get like one negative comment on my blog and it’s all I can think about…) Anyway the post was hilarious, glad most people got that, but how sad is it that you have to add a DISCLAIMER to the post to say that it was named based on the world’s greatest Sedaris book? Jesus, talk about ignorant. Anyway, luckily most of the Kiwi’s comments on the article were hilarious and self-deprecating, like all good humor should be. And loved that you mentioned a vowel shift–I studied Linguistics and am from California, where we have our own great vowel shift, and lets just say that out of 12 English vowel sounds, I make about 3 of them. (Even though I could have sworn us Californians don’t have an accent!! 😉 I’m blogging this year as an auxiliar in Bilbao, and all I can say is I want to follow in your blogging footsteps, live the dream in Spain, then move to NZ…thanks for the inspiration 🙂
When I first got off the plane in the Auckland airport on my way to Wellington 13 years ago, I saw a sign in an airport shop that said “All blacks shop here”….to my horror. I turned to my travel companion and we were aghast at the sign, wondering if it could possibly mean what it seemed to mean. Where were we? Could such blatant racism really exist in New Zealand?
A woman overheard our conversation and laughed, explaining that the All Blacks are a sports team and she chuckled as she left us….. still bewildered why a sports team would be called All Blacks?
OMG that’s the best comment to date!!!!!
Hi the all Blacks are called that due to a mistype in a UK newspaper regarding the New Zealand Rugby team at the time.The article read The New Zealand rugby team is so good its as if it has all blacks in the team but was meant to say as if it has all backs in the team, backs being the backline of a rugby team, so yea the name All Blacks just stuck.
Hope that helps
It was due to the colour of the uniform.
There’s conjecture about the name’s origins and it will probably never be sorted out. One school of thought is that it was because the uniform was completely black but another is that, as Don H said, the name came after the writer for a British newspaper described them as the “all backs” and a sub editor changed his copy, thinking (because of the uniform) he must have meant ”all blacks”. No cellphones in those days to be able to check with the reporter before the story went to print.
The name is because of their solid black jerseys. All New Zealand national representative sports teams (i.e. the ones that go to World Cups and the Olympics) have a name that involves black and/or silver, ferns if it’s a women’s team, and if possible, a pun on All Blacks.
All Blacks – men’s rugby
Black Ferns – women’s rugby
Black Caps – men’s cricket (they and the All Blacks are just referred to as our ‘rugby’ and ‘cricket’ teams, ignoring the fact that only men are allowed to belong, it’s kind of bogus)
Silver Ferns – women’s netball
Tall Blacks – men’s basketball
Black Sticks – women’s field hockey
Black Sox – men’s softball/baseball/I don’t really know what they play, it’s an obscure sport in this country
Black Cocks (unofficial) – men’s badminton, from ‘shuttlecocks.’