Let’s talk fashion! When people say that Europe is a year ahead of US fashion, they are not wrong. Spain may be behind in some things-technology, industry, medicine-I mean I still have to go into the bank to deposit checks (oh how I miss Bank of America’s ATM deposits), and everyone thinks I am crazy because I don’t blow dry my hair or wear slippers around the house (last time I checked, colds were caused by bacteria and viruses, not by being cold). Anywho, when it comes to fashion, Spain and Europe, are light years ahead of the States. So here is my guide to how to dress Spanish!
European men take metrosexual to a whole other level. I say this in all honesty, my gay-dar in Spain is non-existent. As far as pants and jeans go in Spain, the tighter the better. It is also totally acceptable that they are white or bright colors, like red or green. And remember, if you are wearing pants that tight, you can’t wear boxers. That’s right, you gotta go with tight undies or briefs, or whatever they’re called. Those can be brightly colored as well. And if you don’t feel like wearing pants, you can always wear capri pants. Match those bright pants with a nice sweater, preferably a v-neck. You can also wear a button down, but you have to leave the top few buttons undone. Screen printed t-shirts are also ok, as long as they are tight, flashy and say something ridiculous. Put on a scarf and a nice jacket, and pair these with a nice pair of loafers (I love euro men’s shoes!) or nice pumas, converses, or adidas sneakers, but not ones for actually exercising in.
The European man in his natural habitat
It is never, ever acceptable to wear athletic sneakers with regular clothes, only with tracksuits. Right now it is really popular to have bright pink or yellow sneakers, a fad I have noticed among all my 6th grade boys. It is only ok to wear a tracksuit if you are exercising. For my American friends out there, a tracksuit would be matching running pants and a jacket. It is also very cool if you have a tracksuit from your favorite soccer team, like Madrid or Barca. Never wear baseball hats or sweatshirts. In fact, I don’t know if you can find them on the Iberian Peninsula.
When you are at the beach, you should have a small swimsuit to maximize your tan, the shorter the better. Your swimsuit should never reach your knees. And if you can’t find a small swimsuit, you can just roll up your lame old bottoms and still work on your tan. I see guys at the beach every day who look like they are wearing diapers because they have their shorts hiked up so high! Feel free to shave your legs and arms, and you should probably invest in a nice pair of designer shades.
If all men at the beach looked like Daniel Craig, I would be totally fine with the small swimsuits
But to top it off, the euro accessory to end all accessories: the infamous man-purse. Yes, that’s right folks, it is completely ok for men to carry a purse in Europe. Usually it looks kinda like a fanny pack across the chest or understated over the shoulder small bag that hangs by the waist, almost like a camera bag, usually in neutral colors. I don’t know why this phenomenon exists, but my own personal theory is that they have to carry a purse because their pants are too tight to put a wallet in. I am totally open to other theories though! What do you think? Although I might never get used to seeing a dude carrying a purse, I say hats off to European men for breaking down gender boundaries!
In all seriousness though, I generally prefer how Spanish guys dress. It’s usually it’s much more done up and classier than the guys back home. Minus the man-purse and mankinis.
Ladies edition coming soon! What are your thoughts on euro fashion for men?